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Mary Magdalene, in a dramatic 19th-century pop...

Mary Magdalene, in a dramatic 19th-century popular image of penitence painted by Ary Scheffer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Ok so it isn’t actually a new word, it is and has been in the dictionary for quite sometime, but the full understanding of it is new enough to earn it a spot in it f my very own vocabulary.  That word is Malaise , for purposes of this note, definition numbers 1 and 2.

malaise

  1. feeling of unease or depression
  2. a mild sickness, not symptomatic of any disease or ailment
  3. a complex of problems affecting a country, economy, etc: Bulgaria’s economic malaise
  4. [C18: from Old French, from mal  bad + aise ease ]

For months I had been wrestling, struggling, weighed down by something I just could not  put a finger on.  On the outside it may have appeared that everything was fine but on the inside there was a malaise.  I was not depressed in a way that should have me trundled off to the closest psychiatrist, therapist or sanitarium, yet something  was just not right for longer than a moment.

As life continued to move forward, carrying me along bobbing and floating among the waves and ripples I prayed to understand what this particular version of plague was assailing me.   I had been praying.  I had been reading but still the murky cloud (this malaise) persisted.

Were my prayers unanswered?  Was there substance lacking from my worship?  What was the reason this malaise continued that felt more like  a cellophane veil?   Then my a-ha moment while reading 2 Corinthians 12:9, in my weakness, blahs, cloudy moments, rely on the strength, will and might of my Lord to carry me through.  Depend on the whispering of the Holy Spirit to inspire and spur me onward  and keep my eyes continually focusted on God.  As I prayed and thanked God for clarity a pin-sized hole grew larger and larger as He reached down to gently clear away the murky haze.

Lay it all on Him, releasing doubts, questions, insecurities and trust Him even more fully.   Take that leap, make that step and fall forward knowing that He will catch me.  Understanding that the path He has for me, is for me and that trusting in Him is never a mistake!  Greater is He that is in me!

Making His praise glorious!

Ree

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